I was at a meeting last week and someone shared about making amends to themselves. I started listening and then I thought to myself. Have I truly forgiven me for the havoc and pain I inflicted on multiple people for various lengths of time. I honestly never thought about truly forgiving myself. Apologizing to my brain for beating it up after every failed attempt to cut corners or use successfully. Saying sorry to my physical form for putting my body through an insane amount of stress and self inflicted detriment. These are things I never truly saw necessary until last week. I am so quick to degrade myself but never will I give ME the apology I deserve. That is a concept I hadn’t even thought about until last week. How can I make amends with someone else if I haven’t even made amends with myself. If I truly want to love myself I have to forgive myself for all those years of self-doubt and shame. Today I am filled with optimism and gratitude. I’m still working on forgiving myself and understanding that I am not a morally deficit person. I have a disease that, if left untreated, can derail my life and pull the people closest to me into my vortex of chaos. Everyday I have to remain vigilant while being patient with myself. Change does not happen over night. Growth hurts but beauty comes from pain.
In order to grow a seed must completely destroy itself. Growth can be a painful process but I must remember that progress beats perfection. The past is the past for a reason. I can’t move on without forgiving myself and learning from the mistakes I’ve made.
I want to thank anyone who has read my blog. I hope you have found it useful!!!! The life you want is yours to create!!!! NEVER STOP CHASING YOUR DREAMS!!!!
Transformed By Truth 