Yesterday was Juneteenth. It took 156 years for the United States Government to acknowledge the day slaves truly gained their freedom as a national holiday. I can only shake my head at that fact. I just do not understand it. It definitely makes it look like they are trying to ignore the issue or hide from it. Admission is emancipating in itself. My admission of powerlessness and defeat allowed me to truly surrender, tear down the walls and start rebuilding. By acknowledging my short comings and making the conscious decision to work on where I fall short. I have been able to start the process of true growth and evolution. This is why I am such a huge fan of Juneteenth. The emancipation I receive every day I wake up in recovery is INCREDIBLE!!!! That is one of the things I am most grateful for. Waking up every day and not being bound to a substance or lifestyle full of suffering. That is one of the most refreshing things I have felt in YEARS!! I know I can’t get back the time I wasted in active addiction but now I can being to write a new story. One that includes the beauty of a life in recovery. When I was using I hated my existence and no matter how I tried to change it, I was completely defeated. Every day I had no freedom to do what I wanted. My drug of choice had control of me. It made my choices for me. It told me when to eat. When to sleep. Where to go and how to get there. I rode my bike in freezing rain to go cop. Losing my autonomy wasn’t enough to stop me though. Today I am immeasurably grateful for my freedom of choice. I can do what I want when I want. It’s amazing how such a simple concept can be so monumental.
Until you lose your freedom of choice. You have no idea how dehumanizing it can be. Never again will I freely give my autonomy away to my drug of choice. Celebrate Juneteenth!!!!
God,
Grant me the serenity. To accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Transformed By Truth 