For that, I apologize. I intend on being mindful to ensure I remain consistent on the platforms I want to see growth from. I am completely aware of the fact that I will always make time for the things I truly want to do. It is my responsibility to accomplish goals I set or tasks I start. Integrity is one of the things I lost during this last relapse. I have made a commitment to reverse this behavior. I cannot stand people who say one thing but do something completely different. I am no judge but I know those are people I don’t want to be around. Birds of a feather, flock together. Ion have time. I want to leave a legacy of honor and respect. My morals and my values are incredibly important to me. This is a new found realization. Every day in recovery I find a new perspective on life and a new piece of my personality. I have always wondered how people live life sober. Especially in St. Mary’s county. There is nothing down here. Nothing to do on the weekends other than go to the track or a car show. So I always found myself asking “If I can’t get high, how am I going to have fun?” I can remember countless times as a young adult we were just bored so we would smoke ourselves dumb. I did not think I could live without using some type of mind altering substance. Which is insane because those same substances made sure I had no memory of the “fun” I was having. Today one of the things I am most grateful for is the fact that I don’t have to use. A lot of people say I never “had” to use but I assure you that as my addiction evolved the choice dissolved. I am a great example of “using against my will.” All I wanted to do every day was not use. But I knew what would make me feel better and how to get it. What I didn’t realize was even though the physical pain stopped. My mental pain continued to progress. That is an enormous part of my recovery. Reaching out and talking to my support system is immensely beneficial. I am so grateful for the life I gained in recovery!!!! It can only go up from here. MY RECOVERY IS MY RESPONSIBILITY!!!!
My goal is daily growth. As long as I am working on being better than I was yesterday and evolving in my recovery. I am happy. Progress beats perfection.
If you or anyone you know is suffering, please do not suffer in silence. Reach out to someone. It’s okay to not be okay.
God,
Grant me the serenity. To accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Transformed By Truth 